Merry Mayhem #91

Derby Name: Merry Mayhem
Age: 34 going on 17
Height: 7 feet tall
Weight: one ton

After a victorious run in the Demolition Derby at the Chautauqua County Fair, Roller Derby was obviously the next logical thing to do.

The quiet and reserved exterior is just a clever ruse. Fueled by heavy metal, 10W-30 and diet Coke I will kick ass on the derby track! What do you mean I hurt your feelings? I didn't know you had any feelings.

Blithe trickery, chaos and always being at least a little pissed off are what make me Merry Mayhem! With mirth and joy I'?ll inflict bodily injury on my victims rendering them incapable of self-defense. In a joyous state of violent disorder and riotous confusion I'll create a disturbance on the derby track! I am wanton destruction on 8 wheels! Watch out derby girls, there's a new broad on the track!